M Have you ever had any ideas about compiling your own reference book? Robert Rankinís Guide To Life?
R Well, that was what The Book Of Ultimate Truths was. Originally, some other publisher was interested in it, and what it was going to be was an encyclopaedia of all the stuff which was in The Book Of Ultimate Truths and various other ones, all the Hugo Rune stuff. It was going to be this great big fat encyclopaedia, A-Z, but I thought ĎJesus, could you come up with all those ideas?í It would take forever, wouldnít it? To try to come up with an alternative theory for everything? Itís more than a lifetime can stand, so it never carne off. And then it became The Book Of Ultimate Truths which, if you cut it up, I think youíll find itís almost fifty-fifty, plot and ultimate truths. But it isnít half hard work! Good god! If you start a conversation in a book, it takes on its own life, and it just goes on. But to try and think up these things. Iíve come up with one in the latest book which is how you canít work eight hours a day. Itís impossible, and itís worked out exactly how it is impossible. If you work it out on paper thereís not enough hours left, ever, to work eight hours a day. I wonít bore you with it now, because thereís no way will you understand it.
M What clues can you give us about this new book coming upí?
R The one Iím writing at the moment, itís called A Dog Called Demolition. Do you read The Fortean Times?
M I glance at it occasionally.
R Let me get it on record: my bible. I went to the Fortean Exhibition the other day. Theyíve got an exhibition in Croydon, and it was like walking into Heaven. Heíd got hold of stuffed mermaids. I just walked round going ĎI want it! I want it! I want it!í ĎYou canít have it.í ĎOh, alright.í I read this article, it was about a multiple personality disorder. Thereís this particular criminal. It said not every judge in America believes him, but thereís this particular judge called Leslie Snyder in the Manhattan High Court. This criminal had come up and heís cut up and disembowelled his girlfriend, gone out on a spending spree. He said that he was ordered to do this by the entities inside his head, but she said ĎUnadulterated crapí and sent him to prison for 25 years. And it was Ďa god called Zygor, the voice of George, and a dog called Demolitioní. And I thought ĎShit: Dog Called Demolition, what a great name for a book!í So what happens with these entities in your head when you go off to prison? They have a tendency to bugger off, donít they? I mean, Peter Sutcliffe has never mentioned voices in his head now heís in prison. The entities say ĎIím not spending the rest of my time here. Letís go find someone else.í So Iím thinking what would happen if these entities came to Britain for a holiday, and built it from there.
M And whenís that due out?
R April. Hopefully itíll be finished soon!
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