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Best One Liners?
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SamHayden



Joined: 08 May 2006
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Location: Brighton or Chepstow
Display Name: Sam Hayden
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 12:30 pm    Post subject: Best One Liners? Reply with quote

Name some of the best one liners or short dialgoues in movies or TV.

I think Snatch is full of them but my favourite has to be this one:

http://www.gotwavs.com/cgi-bin/wavs.cgi?Snatch=nemesis.wav
STRONG LANGUAGE ON THIS LINK


I also like the one from the film Dogma where when asked "why are we here?" god replies "parp."

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Janet


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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 1:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sometimes you get a movie that is so full of wonderful one liners you don't know where to start. Casablanca is like that, it had five spots on the 100 best lines survey, so is All About Eve and one of my favourites, The Manchurian Candidate - the original of course, Better Off Dead is also like that. Still, here are a few of my favourites.

Manchurian Candidate
"Twelve days of Christmas! One day of Christmas is loathsome enough."
"I didn't always hate my mother. When I was little I used to only dislike her."
(When Laurence Harvey's character tells Sinatra's character that he must be sick of hearing him complain about his mother)
S - I don't mind. It's like listening to Orestes complain about Clytemnestra.
H - Who?
S - Greeks. A coupla Greeks in a play.
Oddly enough, those are all from the same scene, and I almost listed a couple more from it. There are good lines in the rest of the film, but for some reason that one scene always stands out.

All About Eve
"She's from the Copacabana school of dramatic art."
"You have a point, an idiotic one, but a point."

Better Off Dead
"Sure sorry you're mom blew up, Ricky."
"This is a bodaciously small town, Lane. I can't even get real drugs here."
"Dying when you're not really sick is really sick. You know?"

And one of my favourite lines to throw in as a non-sequiter, from My Beautiful Laundrette.
"Tanya, come and look at the spin dryers. They're fluff drying."

It actually took me a while to remember any one-liners from my favourite film. Blow Up doesn't really lend itself to that. I was going to give up, but then I finally remembered a favourite that I've even managed to use in conversation once or twice.

"I haven't got a coupla minutes to have my appendix out."

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Gaz


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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 2:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Best one-liners from my favourite film, "The Italian Job" - that's the proper version, not the modern Americanised abomination of the same name....

They're all from Charlie (Michael Caine) too....

"It's a very difficult job and the only way to get through it is if we all work together as a team. And that means you do everything I say."

"Just remember this - in this country they drive on the wrong side of the road."

"Hang on lads, I've got a great idea."

And the best of all, of course....

"You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"

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Janet


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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 2:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What, nothing about Annette? That's by far my favourite bit from that film.
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Gaz


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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 2:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ahhhh well I didn't really consider the Annette bit to be a one-liner, coz it's a 2-way thing.....

It is one of the funniest scenes though, I agree.

I also like:

"Shall we synchronise our watches?"
"Nuts to your watches. You just be there by quarter to and don't get stuck in the traffic jam."

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swineherd



Joined: 10 Apr 2006
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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 3:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aside from my sig, which is from Toby Ziegler on The West Wing (R.I.P. Crying or Very sad), wasn't that show just full of great one-liners? I know it was about American politics, but many of the most active posters on my fave WW message board were from the UK. And, yes, I am a Wing Nut, and yes, YOU ASKED FOR IT!

Here are a few more (all from the wonderful, strong, female characters on the show):

"I started working for you in February, this is April, and you're an idiot."

"I will once again betray the sisterhood. I saw you, you, you, and you roll your eyes."

"I have a very dry wit. And a dry wit, like a fine martini... yeah, going no where with that. "

"If you were in an accident I wouldn't stop for red lights."

"A new Amendment we vote on declaring that I'm equal under the law to a man? I am mortified to discover there's reason to believe that I wasn't before."

And now from the men:

"That's not being a fan, it's having a fetish."

"I want to be a comfort to my friends in tragedy and I want to laugh with them in triumph, and in between, I just want to be able to look them in the eye."

"There are five White House staffers in the room right now. I'd like to say to the 1.6 of you who are stoned right now, it's time to share."

"One last thing, while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tightass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits."

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Berry



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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Curb Your Enthusiasm has many fantastic lines, the only real one liner that comes to mind is:

"You told him that Groats' Syndrome was named after the shortstop for the pittsburgh pirates?"

also:

Man: "Excuse me, are you jewish?"
Larry: "[pause]... Do you want to check my penis?"

Good times with Larry David Very Happy

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swineherd



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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 5:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some from movies:

Hey look, mister - we serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't need any characters around to give the joint "atmosphere".
-Nick in It's a Wonderful Life

That's thirty minutes away. I'll be there in ten.
-The Wolf in Pulp Fiction

F*ck off with your sofa units and serine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... let's evolve, let the chips fall where they may.
-Tyler Durden in Fight Club

We are gonna have tons and tons of oppotunities to meet gorgeous ladies so aroused at the thought of marriage that they'll throw their inhibitions to the wind.
-Jeremy in Wedding Crashers

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Last edited by swineherd on Wed May 24, 2006 9:10 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Lisa WTS-Collins


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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bueller....Bueller..



Fry...Fry...Fy....



Very Happy

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Lady Clara


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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 6:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok doesn't technically count but....
(Black Adder)
Melchett: 'If you come back with the information, Captain Darling will pump you thoroughly in the debriefing room.'

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Lisa WTS-Collins


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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 6:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Totally counts! Laughing
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COD


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PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2006 9:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Oh, just a wild stab in the dark, which, incidentally, is what you'll be getting if you don't tell me where she lives."

"QUOTE"Hey look, mister - we serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't need any characters around to give the joint "atmosphere".
-Nick in It's a Wonderful Life


Is that right? Sounds more like Rick in Casablanca.

Either way, two of the best films from that era.

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Lisa WTS-Collins


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PostPosted: Fri May 26, 2006 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"He'll flip you, he'll flip you for real!" - Benicio Del Toro, The Usual Suspects.
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SamHayden



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PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2006 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

there is a load of Blackadder wavs that are so funny when you play them that it is really good to visit when you are feeling a bit down.

www.gotwavs.com

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theladyinthestrawhat



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PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2006 6:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i have a mind to fill your boots up with runny porridge again, that'll teach you a lesson about maturity.

That's a red dwarf one, i can't remember wether it's rimmer or lister.

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