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Helloooo Whitey
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Boggwoppit


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Joined: 14 Apr 2006
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Display Name: Hugh Morris
PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:24 pm    Post subject: Helloooo Whitey Reply with quote

"Helloooo Whitey" which is of course is the gleeful call of the pure collector as he stumbles across a virgin seam (street) of the rare white nuggets (poodle poo).

I was just wondering if Robert had ever considered writing a song dedicated to the collectors of the pure.

Of course if any of you muso's out there want to give it a go Very Happy

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Rintrah



Joined: 12 Apr 2006
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Location: Blue Mountains, Australia
Display Name: Rintrah
PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 3:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now this is class.

I grew up in London, and remember wondering about the white poo.

For many years i sufered from a few childhood misconceptions. That a family friend had lost all his hair overnight aftr a motorcycle accident (it turned out that he'd just gone bald and decided to have his head), and that the white poos were dalmation poos - what wih them being the only white dogs I'd encountered, yeah, i know, they should have been black and white poos.. I was just a kid!

So what's the deal with those poos anyway? I more recently decided that it's more likely that they are old and weather bleached poos... as I have never seen a fresh white one.

Anyway, challenge accepted. My crap band, FCA, will write and perform a song and post the link here. (The subject is right up our alley.. http://www.myspace.com/realfca )

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Boggwoppit


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Display Name: Hugh Morris
PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 1:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent I do have a few lines of my own written down in a George Formby style and may publish if I get it finished.

As for the whiteness I think its down to bleaching. This was disscussed at length previously on this here forum. I just felt there should be a song about it.

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Timmeh!


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 1:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I thought it was down to changing canine diets.
Dog's used to eat a lot of bones and therefore excrete large amounts of undigested calcium Confused
These days with most owners buying tinnet/packet dog food, you see less.

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foxforcefive



Joined: 14 Jan 2009
Posts: 7
Location: Wales
Display Name: Heather
PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 2:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where I grew up the white dog poo almost always stood erect, or at least part of it did. Anyone else noticed this phenomena?
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matthew dunderdale



Joined: 22 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 2:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

good job i have a reasonably strong stomach....
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Minxy Moos



Joined: 21 May 2008
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Location: Leeds, UK
Display Name: Amy
PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 3:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I remember white dog poo from my childhood. Havent seen any for years though I remember I always used to see it outside my neighbours garden - they called him Deaf and Dumb Johnny and he had about 10 dogs and his garden had that many little statues and things in we used to call it Lilliput. Ill always remember that lol especially the white dog shit. LOL
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Milford_Cubicle



Joined: 10 Jul 2008
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Display Name: K
PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 10:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's to do with a change of dog food ingredients. It used to (many years back) contain lots of chalk as a 'filler', well the cheaper stuff did anyway. That's why there was lots of white dog poo and why there isn't any now. Plus the whole 'poop scooping' thing wasn't really done back then, mainly due to not knowing the dangers of poo and there being no laws against not picking it up, hence seeing more poo.

I'm sorry, I know a bit too much about this, don't I? Embarassed

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Rintrah



Joined: 12 Apr 2006
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Display Name: Rintrah
PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 12:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

These things are important to know about!! Be proud.

I researched it a bit, and pretty much everyone is right (according to the internet).

People used to feed their dogs more bones (apparently this is uncommon in the UK these days because of BSE), there used to be more calcium in dog food (ie bone meal, chalk, whatever), and people didn't usd to pick up poo like they do these days... which reminds me of a childhood memory, an alley beside the flat I grew up in always had fresh minefield of poo laid each day (which built up and up), and I remember an accompanying adul pointing to one and saying, "Look, someone's gone for a good slide in that one".

Working on the track today...

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Boggwoppit


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 1:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your all talking poo but no one's singing about it. There were quite a few song lyrics about Zombies flying around after Zombie con so I know some of you are more than able. Go on filll your pen with the pure. Very Happy
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Boggwoppit


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 9:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Collectors of the pure (to the tune of Mr Woo's a window cleaner now)

Now i've heard many stories
'bout collectors of the pure.
A bunch of smelly drunkards
Who are very, very poor.

They searched for gold on londons streets
but couldn't find a bit
And so they sought their fortune
by the shovelling of shit.

(Chorus yet to be written)

Now the pure it comes in many shades
from mustard to dark brown,
Deposited by every breed
on every street in town.

But colectors they told stories
of the rarest turds of all.
The nuggets they called Whitey
that were worth their weight in Gold.

And here boys and girls I am stuck so if anyone can come up with another couple of verses and a chorus feel free.

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Gaz


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 9:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can just imagine that being sung accompanied by some one-chord ukulele playing..... Thumbs Up
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Boggwoppit


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Display Name: Hugh Morris
PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry to put this at the top again but I had to finish it.

Collectors of the pure (to the tune of Mr Woo's a window cleaner now)

Now i've heard many stories
'bout collectors of the pure.
A bunch of smelly drunkards
Who are very, very poor.

They searched for gold on londons streets
but couldn't find a bit
And so they sought their fortune
by the shovelling of shit.

(Chorus yet to be written)

Now the pure it comes in many shades
from mustard to dark brown,
Deposited by every breed
on every street in town.

But colectors they told stories
of the rarest turds of all.
The nuggets they called Whitey
that were worth their weight in Gold.

So I searched the streets of Camden,
Whitechaple and the Strand
And I took the bus to Brentford but no Whiteys did I find

I found Peekingese in Shepherds Bush
Husky in Hammersmith
And those Spaniels they got everywhere the dirty little shits.

But I never found that good white shit
Not a hint, a whiff a smear
Its as if those poodle poopers had just up'd and dissapeared.

(Chorus)

And as the years go by me
Allways drunk and ever poor
I'm resigned that I'll forever be
A collector of the pure.

(Chorus)


Still can't think of a chorus but what the hey, My name is Hugh, My song is poo which is why i'm a collector of the pure. Very Happy I can go to bed now.

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Rintrah



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wink

Will sound funny in "Australian".

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Gaz


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 8:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Boggwoppit wrote:
Still can't think of a chorus but what the hey, My name is Hugh, My song is poo which is why i'm a collector of the pure. Very Happy I can go to bed now.


Oh Mister Hugh
You smell of poo
Yes Mister Hugh's a pure collector now.....

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