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Boring Political Bit
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(signed off forever)



Joined: 11 Apr 2006
Posts: 13
PostPosted: Sat May 06, 2006 3:41 pm    Post subject: Boring Political Bit Reply with quote

Consider the curious and generally glossed-over Biblical fact that, shortly after God appointed Himself Supreme Overlord of the Universe, one-third of the entire Heavenly Host (who presumably know Him better than we do) voted against Him. Now, bear in mind the following facts: God has been on ther job longer than Blair, or even Thatcher! Unfortunately, a back-bench rebellion is unlikely, since the first lot were condemned to eternal torment in Hell with no hope of forgiveness ever. So if they disagree with anything He has done during His term in office (anything from 6010 years to about 15,000,000,000, depending on who you ask), they aren't saying so. On the other hand, the Fallen Angels have no motive whatsoever to change sides, so they're presumably solid. The point being that, if we consider Doomsday to be the ultimate General Election, a 17% swing to the Left would allow Lucifer to win the Battle of Armageddon!

So let's apply that to Thursday's local elections. Assuming that Lucifer can gain as much support from mere mortals as he got from the angels, and assuming that the defections come from all parties equally, if the Hell Independence Party had fielded candidates, the results would have been: HIP 33% Tories 27% LibDem 18% Labour 17% Others 5%

Observe that this makes HIP a shoo-in for any election in which none of the existing parties are on track for more than 50% of the total vote, which, in a three-party system, they almost certainly won't be. Now there's something for you to think about...

VOTE LUCIFER! BECAUSE BEING A FALLEN ANGEL MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY!
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COD


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PostPosted: Sat May 06, 2006 8:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, I got voted in in my local town for the second time, with a majority control of seats on the Council, and thats an Independent Party. I do work in mysterious ways.
Add that analogy to the big heaven thing, and I'm still a winner!
Tits to the theologian greybeards.

GOD Very Happy

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SamHayden



Joined: 08 May 2006
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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 1:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You have to respect the fallen angels. One of them invented make-up!!!

Read 'The Book of Enoch' for this.

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COD


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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 9:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sit em on the back benches these fallen angels, and for wearing makeup too. GOD's pr machine must have had a hell of time sorting that lot out.

GOD - oh that's me.

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SamHayden



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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 9:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sure the Tories have had worse things to worry about than makeup.

How far away do you think we are from having a cross dressing MP? If one stood in my area I'd vote for him if his policies were ok.

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COD


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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 11:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Absoloutly, would be a change, and we'd know he had good taste in clothes and be very clean no doubt. I'd vote.
Gay and proud would be a nice feature, or an candidate that admitted to using oranges and latex at the outset, certainly get my vote.


GOD

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Berry



Joined: 25 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 11:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry, I don't tend to read things with the word Boring in the title.
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COD


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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 11:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No need for that. Shocked


G

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Stacey


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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 11:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

just post on them Berry?
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Berry



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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 11:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, why call it Boring if you want to people to read it? Doesn't make much sense really. I don't have much attention span for huge posts on forums, so you have to make me want to read it.
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A Random Me


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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 11:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

> so you have to make me want to read it.

So we should title it with "Free docker love here!", that sort of thing?

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Berry



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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 11:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing exactly. THAT would get my attention. Or "FREE MONEY" or something similar...
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COD


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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 12:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Best have a word with the threads creator then. I dunno, the worries you must have when going to buy food from the shops.


GOD Very Happy

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SamHayden



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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 1:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How to make politics more interesting then?

Change the names of the parties?

Labour - The Psycho Evil Death Party
Tories - The Sexually Deviant Splat Party
LibDem - The Tanked Up Wobble Party
Green - The Sexy Cow Tickle Party
BNP - The Stupid Twat & Wanker Party

That would be good I think for improving politics.

Now how about the politicians themselves?
The PM MUST wear an interesting hat to every public outing.
Question time should include trash magazine style questions (e.g. How is your sex life?)
In the event of a heated debate the winner is the one with the biggest Dad.
When deciding on a new piece of legislation, the winner is decided by It's a Knockout style games.

Any more ideas on how to make politics more interesting?

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Berry



Joined: 25 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2006 2:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Personally I think politics would be more interesting if it was acted out in the style of WWE.
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